Why did Ankita come to us? 

Ankita is a smart, driven girl with an I got this kind of a personality. While she was doing very well in her career - she was not so lucky in her love life. Some relationships did not work out and that had really put her down. 

On top of that, she was seeing all of her friends get married and move on with their lives … that would make her feel incredibly stuck. She had been meeting arranged marriage boys for over 2 years - and when nothing was working out, she started doubting and questioning herself. 

What was going on with Ankita?

She was still not over her ex. The guy she was dating chose to marry another girl - it made her feel sad, helpless, angry, frustrated and a variety of other unresourceful states. While the intensity has gone down overtime, those memories and states would still come back to haunt her. She would consistently keep asking the question why and then conclude that it is because of the way she looks. 

Overtime, it generalized to an extent where she started hating the way she looked and would start to cry when she saw herself.

Now, even if she was meeting boys that she did not connect with (in the arranged marriage process) would say no to her - she would go back into the spiral of feeling sad, helpless, frustrated and then would strengthen the conclusion of her not looking a certain way. 

What did we do?

Firstly, we got her to stop asking ‘the why question’ to herself.’ She recognised that finding an answer to the why in no way is going to help her. All she needed to do was move on and look ahead … We used Fast Phobia Cure (a procedure specifically designed to take care of your past baggage) to help over overcome this baggage easily. 

We also helped her develop the capability to disassociate (the ability to see yourself from an outsider's perspective) and recognise that the arranged marriage men who are rejecting her are the wrong leads. 

We also helped her look at her experience with her ex and the experience with the arrange marriage as separate experiences and not connect them to the same problem. 

We also used certain state choice procedures for her to not go into feeling sad, helpless and annoyed when these things happen and be disassociated and recognise that this is the nature of the process - there will be some things that just won't work out, but she has to move on with ease and know in her that she just has to find one person.